Thank you, 2011

They say our birthday is our day.

Well, I feel that everybody is exciting to wish me a happy birthday, so am I to hear it. But every birthday I feel sad. Don’t ask me why. I really don’t know.

This year I thought it would be different ‘cause I had the best year of my life.

I made new friends and they’re one of the best people I ever knew in my life.

We had lots of fun and we were always together. So I must be thankful ‘cause someone up stairs brought them to me.

I discoreved who is really my friend and who isn’t.

I’ve hurted. ‘Cause if I haven’t it wouldn’t be me. Ok, it’s a sad way of thinking but it’s true. But I had lot of good things happening in my life, then nothing compares and nothing can come against it.

I went to every show I wanted. I saw my favorite singers rocking on the stage and I was always with my bests.

I saw Avril again and it used to be like a dream that I never believed that could come true.

I finally realized and stop complaining about my mother. She’s the best person in the world. And so are my grandpa.

My little Simba is now a ten-year old dog, but he stills looking like a baby for me.

And me. Well, now I’m a 20-year old guy who just have to be thankful for the life I have.

Thank you 2011. Thanks for the happiness and for the people you brought me.

Can you be more clear?

You’re so hard to decode.

I’m not a person who gives up easily, but you never give me reasons to keep trying.

What do I mean to you? Are we friends, at least?

You’re so cold but there are somedays you treat me so good.

I try to understand you, but you never tell me what’s going on.

Yesterday you told me you’re sad, but you don’t want to talk about it anymore.

So how do you want me to act? I don’t even know what happened.

I’m sensible and I notice things. But I not a seer, so I won’t guess things you didn’t tell me.

I just feel that something is not right.

You shold know that I feel desperate the most part of my day, because I’m always trying to figure out your thoughts.

I’m always trying to find when I did something wrong.

I just wanted to say to you what I feel.

But I don’t think you’d understand.

You’re always on my mind. I’m not in yours.

But that’s ok. I don’t love you to love me back.

I love you because I couldn’t choose it.

Now I’m in is this black hole. I really don’t know how get out.

Do you know?

The Knife

The knife. It’s so away from here.

My bed feels so comfortable tonight.

Should I stay here laying and wait until God’s law come out?

Should I do it by myself?

Oh mother, don’t think I’m selfish. I just can’t deal with it anymore.

It hurts me inside. It kills me slowly.

It’s taking me anyway, but it will last until I have no more strengths and I can’t handle it for too long.

I’m unable so I’ll stop it before it stops me.

I do believe.

What I feel for you is not what I’m used to feel for everyone.

The way I think about you is not the way I’m used to think about everyone.

The way I love you is not the way I’m used to love everyone.

You don’t deserve a single word I say and you don’t deserve a single deep breath I take when I’m crying because of you.

But I do all this things and I don’t try to change it. It came naturally so it’s going naturally.

I hope someday you understand that I’m here just because I love you and I do believe you’re going to love me back someday.

Here's where it starts

Everyday I wake up thinking about what’s going to happen.

Is it going to be a better day? Will my life gets better today?

Will I receive a good new?

I’m a mess. I don’t even understand myself.

I prefer be alone. But there’s somedays I’d like to have someone by my side.

I’m  a contradiction.

I fall in love so easily but I’m not a person who’d like to be in a relationship.

I’m desperate, obsessive and possessive.

But I don’t like people who are this way.

I cry and I feel pain.

I complain and then I think I shouldn’t do this.

I wish my life was better

but then I think there’re lots of people who would do anything to be  in my place.

I want my life to change but when it happens I regret to have desired it.

I’m scared about new things but I’m also tired of my routine.

I feel so mature but when I’m love I feel  I’m most immature person in the world.

I feel so smart but when I do something wrong I blame myself for think this.

I’m  annoying but  I’m also funny. I’m desperate but I’m also lovely.

I’m a lot of things but I’m also can be classified with a few words.

I’m a friend but I’m also would like to be a boyfriend.

I have a small name but I don’t have a small mind.

I have a young mind but I have lots of things to say.